Starved
by Snowfluff
Summary: A young queen, drifting closer and closer to leaf-bare's wrath, has to make the decision between her life...or her lover. WillowClan November Monthly Challenge. One-shot. Prompt: "And thus the orange and red colors of fallen leaves paint the ground beneath us..." - S. Flame Eve


**This is for the WillowClan November Writing Challenge.**

**Prompts: **

**_November:_**

**_"And thus the orange and red colors of fallen leaves paint the ground beneath us..."_**

**_- S. Flame Eve_**

* * *

_"Mom, where's _our food?" Spruceleaf looked helplessly down at her three, starving kits. She wasn't doing her duty as their mother; she couldn't feed them. Flintstar had forced her to eat the parsley...the whole entire _Clan_ had forced her to eat the parsley. They didn't want her half-Clan kits to survive. To her Clanmates, her kits were a disgrace. Dirty blood.

"Hush," she whispered to her kits. "Go back to sleep." There were several mewls of protest, but her kits did eventually settle back into sleep.

It wasn't _their _fault they were half-Clan. Spruceleaf blamed herself. She just couldn't help falling in love with Foxtail. She didn't care if he was from StoneClan and she was from FrostClan. Despite how wrong their relationship was, everything felt right about it.

But that was before she found out she was going to have kits. It shattered everything apart. Spruceleaf's whole life as a proud warrior of FrostClan smashed into pieces. No longer did those romantic moments under the moonlight seem fun anymore. The sneaking around...the hiding...Spruceleaf regretted it all.

But there was no going back. She now had kits to tend to, but she didn't have any milk. Leaf-fall was coming to an end, and leaf-bare was nearing. They were going to die...she was going to die...and Flintstar would do nothing about it.

Spruceleaf looked at the queen, Nightstep, beside her. Her jet-black pelt gently heaved up and down as she slept quietly, with her two kits snuggled up at her belly. If Spruceleaf's kits had any chance of survival, a queen with milk would have to take them in.

The moon was shining high in the sky, and Spruceleaf gently nudged Nightstep. The jet-black she-cat's bright green eyes opened. She let out a huge yawn. "What is it, Spruceleaf?"

"Nightstep," Spruceleaf's voice was low. Her lip quivered as she continued, "Can you please take care of my kits?"

Nightstep blinked back at her. "E-excuse me?"

"Take care of my kits." Spruceleaf nervously swished her tail. "They need milk, and as you know, I can't pro-"

"No." Nightstep's voice was harsh. "Listen, I know you're my friend. I know that. I just...I can't take in your kits. They're _half-Clan, _for goodness sake! Imagine how the rest of the Clan would think of me! Swiftclaw would probably leave me, and what would my kits think? Suddenly, they had three brothers and sisters that weren't there before! I'm sorry, Spruceleaf, but it's a no."

Spruceleaf struggled to hold down her anger. "Th-that's fine, Nightstep. Sorry for bothering you."

Nightstep settled back down into her nest, and once more the nursery was silent. Outrage bubbled in Spruceleaf's chest. They were perfectly, fine kits! Their only "imperfection" was that they were half-Clan! Was FrostClan so stuck up that they didn't want their pure blood to be tainted?

Spruceleaf felt her claws slide out. _No. _She couldn't attack Nightstep; not when her kits were present. Spruceleaf sat motionless; containing her anger.

Somehow, she eventually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Spruceleaf woke in the middle of a field. It was foggy; she couldn't see her surroundings except the trodden grass beneath her. The moon peaked behind the many tree branches and leaves.

Spruceleaf couldn't move. Her whole entire body was frozen, and she could only feel the whistling wind brushing her flank. Where was she? Why was she there?

She felt another sharp blow from the wind and the stars descended from the sky. They twirled in a spiral formation, twinkling from edge to edge. Spruceleaf shivered as waves of authority and power washed her fur as the stars trickled down to the field.

The spheres of light settled into a formation of a cat. Stars were imprinted in the cat's silver fur and every pawstep it took the grass beneath it glowed.

Spruceleaf let out a gasp as she regained movement in her body. She knew that she was being met by a warrior of StarClan.

The cat smiled at Spruceleaf as she bowed down in front of the cat, every part of her body tingling with awe.

"Spruceleaf," The cat's voice was a beautiful, high soprano yet a deep, commanding alto at the same time that soothed Spruceleaf's worries to the edge of her bones. "Welcome to the lands of StarClan."

She trembled as the StarClan warrior's voice echoed in the midst of the fog. "I..." Her voice broke off. She knew why she was here.

"I'm sure you know why you are here tonight." The cat mused. "Would you care for me to elaborate?"

When Spruceleaf didn't reply, the cat mewed, "Spruceleaf of FrostClan, daughter of Ravensong and Hailstrike, mate of Foxtail and mother of three kits...you grew up as a sturdy Clan cat - feisty and ready to learn. You were always the bubbly one that always was jumping around. And then you met Foxtail, and he reversed your life. You threw away everything that StarClan has taught you. You broke the warrior code. You fell in love with a cat from another Clan."

The cat's voice was dangerously close to breaking into anger. Spruceleaf could only gulp as the cat stepped closer and closer towards her. "All the happiness you had been in was gone when you found that you were going to have kits. Foxtail stopped loving you once he found out."

Spruceleaf flashed back to five moons ago. It was nice and warm; leaf-bare had just ended and newleaf came with glory and the warmth. She had decided that it was time for her to tell Foxtail the news.

She had crept out of camp the usual way - through the dirt tunnel and a closely hidden path that led out into a secret hollow. Foxtail was there, of course - he was always first.

His tail shot up in excitement when she burst through the ferns. "Spruceleaf!" he breathed, running towards her and burying his nose in her fur.

Spruceleaf uncertainly pulled away, staring at the forest floor. _How can I tell him...how will he react? _"Spruceleaf," Foxtail's voice was cautious. "What's wrong? You never pull away. That's not like you."

She sighed. "I-I'm fine." When Foxtail's pleading eyes didn't budge, she meowed, "No, really. There's just a lot on my mind." _  
_

Foxheart let out a sigh of relief. "Good. Let's hunt, shall we?"

As they bounded through the forest, her secret did not vanish from her mind. Every time they stopped for a break, Spruceleaf opened her mouth to tell Foxtail the truth, but, she always hesitated. Was it really the right time to say it?

Twilight as drifting upon the two young warriors as they padded back to the hollow, tails intertwined. Foxtail dipped his head and set his prey in front of Spruceleaf's paws. "You were great today." He lifted his head. "Are you training without me?" Foxheart's eyes glittered with amusement.

Spruceleaf couldn't hold in her secret anymore. "I'm having kits." she blurted. Foxtail stared blankly at Spruceleaf, confusion clouding his gaze. "Your kits, as a matter of fact," Her voice was shaky as she spoke the unforgivable truth. In her mind, she was screaming, _Why did you tell him? Why? _

Realization dawned on Foxtail's face as Spruceleaf's confession settled deeply into the nooks and crannies of his mind. "My kits," he mewed slowly. "O-our kits..." The confusion in his gaze was long gone; instead it was replaced by a chorus of hurt and betrayal.

"How could you, Spruceleaf! You promised me this wouldn't happen! You promised!" Foxtail's voice rose into a high shriek as his neck fur fluffed up and his eyes burned with rage. "You said that we would be fine! Nothing like _this _would happen!"

"Look, I-I know, Foxtail, and - "

"And what?" Foxtail spat. "What can you say now? You broke a promise. The End. I'm leaving you." He began to storm away from the hollow, tail lifted.

"B-but, Foxtail, wait! What about us? What about our kits?" Spruceleaf felt her voice crack into a desperate wail as she chased her lover who was running away from her.

Foxtail angrily spun around. "There is no more 'us'. And as far as I'm concerned, I don't have any kits." He spun around once more before thundering through the forest.

Spruceleaf dropped to the ground, grief wracking her body as her broken heart ripped itself apart. As she felt the pangs against the chest, she could still her Foxtail's angry thundering footsteps, far, far away from her...

* * *

Spruceleaf opened her eyes. Her chest ached as though her heart actually had broke.

And it had. But that was newleaf. She was stronger now in leaf-fall.

Was she?

The StarClan cat spoke up. "Foxtail did the right thing. hen he realized he had gone too far, he left." Spruceleaf felt anger bubbling in the deepest crevices of her mind but she ignored it as the StarClan continued to speak. "He left you, Spruceleaf, young warrior of FrostClan, to deal with your three kits. Your very own Clan doesn't accept you - they don't appreciate your...wrongdoing." The cat paused.

"And thus the orange and red colors of fallen leaves paint the ground beneath us...and the last sparks of leaf-fall are fading...leaf-bare is approaching quick and fast. You're kits are starving, you're starving...so what do you do?"

Spruceleaf stared at the StarClan cat. "I can't do anything."

The cat smiled. "Of course you cannot. But it is time that StarClan lend you a helpful paw - and guide you under our wing. We can, of course, change your situation."

The cat waved a paw, and a faded image of Flintstar appeared. "Flintstar, wake up." The FrostClan leader seemed to follow the StarClan warrior's directions and his eyes blinked open. "This is one of your warriors, Spruceleaf. You will no longer hold a grudge against her for her sins. You will accept her and her kits for what they are, and bring equality and peace to the Clan. Do you understand my request?"

Flintstar looked at Spruceleaf for a moment, before nodding. The faint image of the leader faded away. The StarClan cat turned towards Spruceleaf. "Now that is done, you will not be excluded by your Clan any more. You and your kits are welcome to FrostClan. You also do have milk once again, so you can feed your kits."

Happiness burst in Spruceleaf's chest. _I can start my life again. _

"But, there is a catch." Spruceleaf looked up. "In exchange for granting equality and the chance to fend off for yourself and your kits, you will have to admit that you have no feelings whatsoever for Foxtail."

A faded image of Spruceleaf's former lover appeared next to the cat. His bright orange pelt was as fiery as ever, and his lips were drawn back into a snarl, as if he was ready to fight anyone at any time.

There was a catch in Spruceleaf's breath as she hungrily stared at Foxtail. She hadn't seen him moons after he left her at the hollow. He had stopped going to Gatherings, and whenever she asked his Clanmates where he was, they would give her a curt nod and walk away.

"By doing so, the deal will be complete and you will go off in your merry way, enjoying life once more." Spruceleaf stared at the StarClan warrior.

"And what will happen if I don't do it?" Her voice was close to cracking.

The warrior gazed at Spruceleaf. "Then you will never see your kits again."

Spruceleaf gulped. Kits...or Foxtail. She looked at him once more. If she chose her kits, she would have her life back. She could still be that normal, young warrior of FrostClan.

But...if she chose Foxtail, she wouldn't a mother. Instead, she would be living that risqué life as she explored how far she could go without anything holding her back.

But what if Foxtail rejected her once more? It would be a huge risk. With her kits, and a stable life in FrostClan, there was less of a chance of her being hurt.

Foxtail's image loomed before her as she parted her jaws.

"Foxtail..." Time seemed to slow down as her mind swirled with conflicted thoughts. "I..."

Her voice cracked as she spoke the last words. "I love you."

Taking a risk was always worth the fight.


End file.
